There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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