I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
