Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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