i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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