come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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