I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I want a musical about memes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
