it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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