Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
