don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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