yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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