So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
a search helicopter?!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
