So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
