please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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