I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
