Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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