someone get that fucking seahorse.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
