My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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