so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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