So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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