Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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