Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
