and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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