Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize