i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
