I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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