do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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