You smell like stripper and shame
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
