My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
