I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
