I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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