fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
