We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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