So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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