Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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