how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
