Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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