he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
