Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
