Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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