i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
