You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
