Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
