she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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