We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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