Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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