I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
