Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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