She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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