Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
