i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
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Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
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Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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