Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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