Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
