roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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