just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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