I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have demons in me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
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a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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