I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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