I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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