I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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