3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have tasted many bathrooms
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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