She's JV to your varsity
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
