i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize