I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
