I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
