Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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