Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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