fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
