My friends, they love my intelligence
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
