Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize