how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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