i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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